Blog move

Hi Everyone,

I guess by now you may have realised that we have moved the blog so that it is integrated within our own website:  http://blog.mountain-associates.co.uk/

Do come back to us there and say "Hi", leave your comments and follow us.  We look forward to dialoguing with you.

You can also find us at Mountain Associates on Facebook and on Twitter @MountainAssoc as well as find Anita on LinkedIn.  Please click Like on our Facebook page.

Thank you to those of you who are following us and who have bought our book Working Together; Organizational Transactional Analysis and Business Performance, published last year by Gower and receiving rave reviews on Amazon. 

Our new bi-monthly one-day training in Developmental/Organisational TA is now published on our site.  Each training day is followed by an optional supervision day. If you're passionate about your cpd, about improving your understanding of self, others and organisations then this could be for you.  You are now able to obtain a certificate, diploma and Masters in Developmental TA.  Whether you wish to take qualifications or not you are welcome to attend our training.  The prerequisite for which is ideally a TA101 or that you have read our book.  As we only work with small groups places are limited. Take a look and register now:  www.mountain-associates.co.uk

We also facilitate Advanced Communication Skills, Level 1 (incorporating the Official Introduction to TA, the TA101), so keep an eye on the website for information about our upcoming courses.

Mountain Associates have worked with a range of organisations from the RAF and MoD to Local Authorities and private companies including Swisslog; Sandler Sales Training etc. Anita Mountain available as a coach, keynote speaker and consultant.  Call us now on +44 (0)1455 824475 or email us at: ta@mountain-associates.co.uk

Getting In Your Own Way

Our beliefs can keep us from achieving what we want to achieve.  How many times do you say to yourself: 

Ø      I won’t be able to do that

Ø      People like me don’t make it

Ø      I didn’t get a degree so I’m not intelligent enough to….. 

Our thoughts prevent us from getting where we want to be.  These self-limiting beliefs are just that – beliefs.  However, we act as if they are facts and live our lives by them.   

Other beliefs include things like: 

Ø      If I enjoy myself today something awful will happen

Ø      I can’t do that until I’ve done ……. (e.g. all the work)

Ø      I tried that before and it didn’t work then and so I won’t bother again

Ø      I did succeed in doing………… but it wasn’t worth it

Ø      I did get there but now I see I that I need to be moving on to the next goal (the outcome of which is dissatisfaction) 

These beliefs are all part of our script.  The “script” in Transactional Analysis occurs when we make decisions when young, based on limited life experience, and live our lives accordingly.   

So, if you want to progress and experience being stuck, explore your beliefs about success.  Are you allowed to be successful?  What is success to you?  According to other people are you already successful but you don’t feel it?  What do you believe would happen if you became successful?  Are you “allowed” to be happy and successful?  What are you discounting that reinforces your belief that you’re not, or can’t be, successful?  What do you need to account that would help you shift your self-limiting beliefs?  (You may need to ask people who know you about this one!). 

Get in touch and share how changing your beliefs about self, others and life, has helped you move forward and own your success.

Buy our book today direct from our website, Amazon or Gower:  Working Together, Organizational Transactional Analysis and Business Performance.  There’s a free download chapter on our website:  www.mountain-associates.co.uk  Come to our guest workshop on Managing & Using Emotions in Organisations on 19 April, 2012, with Olivier Montadat from Paris and our next Developmental/Organisational TA module in May on The Politics of Attachment.  See our website for further information.

What Underpins your Life?

When we first meet someone we can get a sense of their frame of reference on life. This may not be at an overt level but we may sense it. I’m sure you’ve met people who come across as if they have to get in first before you outdo them. They come across as Mr or Ms Angry. Then there are other people whose starting point is that they are not good enough so tend to be backward in coming forward, and believe they are helpless, whilst others believe no-one is any good and that life is hopeless.

These beliefs and frames of reference are not necessarily verbally transmitted (though of course this will also happen). It may just be that we meet each other and there is a way in which we and they hold ourselves, greet the other person, look in a particular way, that may indicate our underpinning view of self, others and life.

Unlike with buildings, this “underpinning” can be the cause of poor communication and therefore poor relationships. Get this sorted and many other things fall into place. As soon as we start to believe we’re as good as anyone else then we will be willing and able to meet people on an equal basis. Believing we are better or worse than others is just that, a belief but we often act as if it is a fact. Thank goodness that beliefs can be changed.

This all links with the concept of OKness in Transactional Analysis, so take a look at our website to see what this is all about: www.mountain-associates.co.uk – or buy our book: Working Together, Organizational Transactional Analysis and Business Performance, published by Gower on 22 June, 2011.

So set to and sort out those outdated beliefs.

If you want support to change then contact us for coaching, training and consultancy: 01455 824475 or ta@mountain-associates.co.uk

Ethics in Business

I was just asked to write a response to an article about ethics in business and then on the ITOL LinkedIn discussion group the issue of ethics came up again.

To consider ethics and ethical behaviour we also need to consider integrity and good practice. Good practice is based on beliefs, values and opinions, from which ethical behaviour stems. When we consider ethics within business we need to consider the organization’s culture as this will set the standards for decision making. In this context the written and unwritten codes will influence the organizations decisions and actions.

Beliefs are often unconscious patterned thinking processes and may, therefore, be hard to identify. Our beliefs will affect how we behave, and are part of our identity, therefore changing either our beliefs, or how we view ourselves, will affect our actions. This will include who we work with and how we work with them and whether our behaviour is ethical or unethical.

Most commonly ethics are considered in terms of dilemmas. For example, let’s take a real situation where the director of a charity that rescued children in war torn areas was approached by an arms dealer who offered to rescue some stranded children that no one else had been able to reach. However, the dealer would not rescue the adults who were with them. The charity's director had to make a very quick decision with no time to consult. In order to make this decision he looked at the organization’s core aims, its mission and purpose and decided that he would cooperate with the arms dealers as it was either the children or no one at that particular point. He subsequently wrote to the charity’s stakeholders and explained his dilemma and offered to resign should a substantial number of them disagree with his decision. They did in fact support him. (Leigh, 2009).

When someone has to make an ethical decision we have to consider the nature of the organization. To do this I have integrated Ernst’s OK Corral (1971) with Wickens (1995) with Krausz (1993). In summary we need to explore whether the organization is:

• I'm OK, You're Not OK, Anarchic, (Wickens), autocratic, paternalistic management style, competitive stressed organizational climate with unilateral problem solving, (Krausz). In this type of organization the workforce are less likely to take responsibility for their actions and there is less willingness to report ethical issues.

• I'm Not OK, You're OK, Alienated (Wickens), ambiguous management style, anxious, insecure climate, with reactive problem solving (Krausz). In this type of organization the workforce already feel alienated and any ethical boundary crossing only serves to further this alienation.

• I'm Not OK, You're Not OK, Apathetic, (Wickens) Laissez-faire, alienated management style, the organizational climate is apathetic and passive, with no problem solving (Krausz). People are unwilling to address ethical issues and, if others cross the ethical line this only serves to reinforce the apathy.

• I'm OK and You're OK, Ascendant (Wickens), democratic, participative management style (Krausz), the organizational climate is motivated, respectful and creative. Ethical problem solving processes are the norm.

Whilst there are individual 360° programmes within organizations there is also a need for an organization to give itself a 360° feedback process, taking comments from the workforce on a regular basis. In this way there are more likely to be opportunities for change in the culture so that people feel valued and supported, with clear boundaries and contracting processes in place. This is then more likely to lead to ethically congruent behaviour.

What do you think? Are ethics important in organizations? How do we compromise our own ethics when we work for organizations that are not a "fit" for us? Are we more or less likely to be stressed when we ignore or deny the mismatch between our own and the organizational ethics? Are ethics a luxury in today's world?

References: Leigh A. (2009), How Good is Your Integrity Compass? http://www.hrzone.co.uk/blogs/andrewl/straight-talking-andrew-leigh-maynard-leigh-associates/how-good-your-integrity-compass, accessed 2.3.2011
Krausz R. (1980), TA and Management Effectiveness, Transactional Analysis Journal, 10:1, 21-24
Wickens P. (1995), The Ascendant Organisation, Macmillan Business



To learn more about Organizational Transactional Analysis come on our Official Introduction to TA course on 14-16 June, or buy our upcoming book: Working Together: Organizational Transactional Analysis and Business Performance, to be published by Gower in July, 2011. Contact us for an informal chat about your own or your organization's coaching or training needs. +44 (0) 1455 824475, www.mountain-associates.co.uk

Walk Your Life

I was watching a programme on television which concerned the Rarámuri tribe in Mexico. They live on a high plateau 7.5 thousand metres above sea level with little interaction with those from the larger towns and cities. The programme was a profound example about how simplicity in living offers such a depth of insight that is often lost in our busy Western lives.

In the west we seem to value workaholic lifestyle and “go getting” which can often cloud what we really need to be doing. Instead we race around, often stressed and agitated about what’s not been done, or what we’ve got to do, rather than being in the moment. This means that we are getting to lose now, unlike the Rarámuri who live very much in the present. They have very little in terms of acquisitions and sometimes go hungry but yet have such spirit and existential trust. They support and care for each other and live with, rather than on the land.

One of the key members of the tribe in the programme advised the woman from the UK to “Walk your life”. For me this was the whole key to the Rarámuri’s way of living and is something most of us find difficulty in doing.

This philosophy “to walk your life” fits with the concept in Transactional Analysis that we call Physis. Physis is Greek and means the thrust of life itself.

 Do you “Walk Your Life”?
 What does this phrase mean for you?
 What would life be liked if you really walked it?
 How would your life change?
 How would you change?


My wish for you is that you “Walk Your Life”.




For coaching, coaching supervision, trainining and consultancy contact Mountain Associates: www.mountain-associates.co.uk Our next Official Introduction to TA is on 7-9 September, 2010Book now and find out how to get closer to living your life today rather than for the past.

Who’s Really There?

Communication difficulties often start because we see who we think is there but don’t actually take the time to find out who we are really relating with (or not!).

Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis, said that “In order to say Hello, you first get rid of all the trash which has accumulated in your head ever since you came home from the maternity ward, and then you recognise that this particular Hello will never happen again” (What Do You Say After You Say Hello, 1984). The “trash” consists of all the messages we have received, all the experiences we have had and how we have translated and made sense of them, in order to get by in the world as we see it.

In order to get by we have developed a frame of reference, a way of seeing the world that, in the long run, may or may not be helpful. In so doing we can believe that all people who are like this, or like that, are the same or similar. These projections and assumptions are quick to make and mean that we can maintain our frame of reference. This means that we don’t have to find out who, and how, people really are.

In the work place management and leadership have to make many decisions and, if we need to make a joint decision, many of us try to convert other people to our way of thinking. Conflict ensues and there is a tendency to polarise. We have very little understanding about why someone may think they way they do and we may write them off by saying “They would say that” etc. How different it would be if we put down our assumptions and prejudices and found out how the other person or people got to that decision, rather than trying to convert them to our way. After all is someone has been raised in Thailand, another in Poland, another from an Asian British culture it is to be expected that we will all have a different perspective and a way of doing something. We need to find out about each other first so that we can understand different perspectives and find the merits of these before promoting just our own view. This way we can move to a co-creative process taking the benefits of each and probably come out with a better solution.

When we don’t know someone, or don’t understand them, it is easy to write them off. How do we feel when we are dismissed and “written off”? I know I don’t like it and therefore aim not to do this to others. After all, maintaining all the “trash” we have accumulated since the maternity ward is actually a loss to us all, the organisation included and is a much bigger risk than dumping the “trash”. To do this I need to be aware of my own prejudices and assumptions about men, women, culture, ability, gender and be prepared to be known and to know others.

I have heard some say “We don’t have time to get to know and understand where others are coming from”. Well, actually, we don’t have time not to as so much time is wasted by conflict, or just plain resentment and passivity. As we do take the time to get to know with whom we are working and understand how come they got to that conclusion the process will become easier and the decision making quicker. In addition the outcomes are likely to be more creative and dynamic with an increase in respect for each other.


Mountain Associates facilitate open-workshops on a range of subject areas based on the application of Transactional Analysis. Do get in touch if you are interested in courses, coaching or supervision of coaches. We look forward to hearing from you.

A Path With Heart

With a New Year approaching many people turn to considering goals and aspirations, e.g. to go to the gym twice a week - only for these to fall at the first hurdle. Perhaps one reason for not completing our best intentions is because they are not fundamental choices i.e. they do not address our passions, how we want to be in life, and how we want, and need, to make connection. This connection, or lack of it, is often at the heart of difficulties. Many of us have lost connection with a sense of ourselves, with others, with nature and with life itself.

At our Organisational Transactional Analysis training workshop last weekend the group raised the issue of the place of spirituality in TA and a short discussion was held about this. In the TA world two of the people who write extensively about this are Muriel James and her son, John James. In their book a Passion for Life they discuss the human need for a spiritual self and the need to connect and go beyond ourselves.

At a time when the world seems in turmoil it is even more important for us to connect and feel that sense of connection. Human beings have the power to intervene in life. We need to ensure that these interventions are life enhancing. When we lose connection we tend to lose empathy for others, for nature and for life itself, and, when this happens, we lose touch with a deeper sense of connection, and thus our spirituality. To connect is to experience ourselves and others and to really encounter life and live with a passion which reflects a quote I saw the other day: Live your life every day.

So, my hope for us all and for the world is that we make real connection with ourselves, with others and with nature in 2009. This is true intimacy and is life enhancing. This fundamental decision to connect starts with our “self” and is not just for life but is about life and is not just for Christmas.

Enjoy the festive season and laugh and love with a passion that is connecting.


We are interested in your comments on these blogs. Go to the link at the bottom of this blog and keep in touch. See you in 2009.

Who Shall I Rescue Today?

How often have you gone to help someone and ended up feeling persecuted by them? If this has happened to you it may be that you did not ask the other person if they needed your assistance before assuming what they needed.

Karpman (1968) devised a simple diagram for analysing the “games” that people get into with each other. (In Transactional Analysis a game is a familiar pattern of behaviour with a predictable outcome). Karpman uses three roles as in a play or drama, namely Persecutor, Rescuer and Victim.

Are you one of life’s Rescuers? You think that someone else really needs your assistance and help them without checking whether this is appropriate. Alternatively they may need your help but not as much as you give. The position of Rescuer always discounts someone else’s ability to problem solve. It may be that you seem to be the one who does a lot of the organising on your team’s behalf, when in fact it would be more appropriate to spread this around between everyone.

Perhaps when you did organise an event or task you may not have got the outcome that others wanted and they have a go at you for this. If this happens you may feel bad and move down into the Victim position, which is in fact where you had put your colleagues or staff by thinking that you have to do everything. Your colleagues then move up into the Persecutor position. This feels a far more powerful place than being in Victim which is why people will make that switch.

So by getting involved on the Drama Triangle you can think that you are incapable, think others are incapable or hold others responsible for not looking after you “properly”. Once in any of the three positions - Persecutor, Rescuer or Victim - we can keep going round the Triangle indefinitely.

Often there is one position which we take up more than any of the others. Sometimes we don’t switch round. For example a partnership where one person always decides what is going to happen and when. In these instances there is usually an unspoken agreement that the one partner will look after the other. This “agreement” means that one person takes on the Compliant mode within the relationship whilst the other takes on the Critical or Over-Indulgent mode, thus creating a dependency. When one person tires of this then the roles on the Drama Triangle can start to show. Until this point there may be an unspoken agreement to use just two of the roles, for example, those of Rescuer and Victim, and only later does one of the players switch to Persecutor.

The way to avoid being on the Drama Triangle is to become aware when you and/or others may be discounting self, others or the reality of the situation. For more about this see the Transactional Analysis pages on our web site: www.mountain-associates.co.uk or take a look at some of the excellent books on TA that are around at the moment.

You may be interested to know that our own book on Organizational TA will be published in 2009. Keep an eye on our web site for more details.



Reference:

Stephen Karpman, (1968), “Fairy tales and script drama analysis”. TAB, 7,26, 1968, 39-43