Constructs and communication

Yesterday I was at an Association For Coaching regional meeting. These are great opportunities for continuous professional development as the quality of input and the relationship with others is excellent.

During discussions in my small group, we - yet again - debated the boundary between therapy and coaching. This came about because we were trialing a questionnaire by Roger Clare which outlined a range of dilemmas and we had to choose between three answers. Someone else in my group answered differently to me on a number of questions, including this one and yet, when we discussed our views, they were similar.

As a psychotherapist my understanding of psychotherapy is more than likely to be different to someone who is not a psychotherapist and, had we not discussed our frames of reference we could have believed we disagreed, when in fact we agreed.

For me this outlined how easy it is to believe that we hold differing views from someone but, when we take the time to listen we may find we believe the same thing. What makes the difference is our construct of the words in question and our frame of reference.

Whilst this discussion was about therapy and coaching we could have been talking about anything. Therefore we need to remember to go back to basics even if it seems we might be being pedantic. By checking we all have the same understanding of a word or phrase we can save so much time and emotion and really meet people, rather than assume what they mean and focus on our differences.

Have there been times when you have been discussing your different views with someone, and maybe even getting into conflict about it, only to find that you think the same way? Feel free to send in your examples for others to learn from.

Have a good week.


Mountain Associates website will soon be changing. We will have separate areas for our in-house training, our Developmental/Organizational Institute and our Coaching 4C. Keep an eye on the website for the new developments which we hope will make your access clearer and easier.

Protection and Potency

Whether we work as a coach, consultant or as a team member there are sometimes challenges within the relationships we have. How do we respond when it appears that someone has “lost it”, or is so aggressive that it appears that they could move to violence? These are times when additional support is important because keeping this fear to ourselves is very demanding and unsafe.

The occasions when such situations occur are rare, but when they do happen it is helpful to know what to do.

Firstly, I work contractually and when, appropriate, make a confidentiality contract when I also let the person, or people, know when I will break that confidentiality. I would do this if the client does not agree to keep themselves or another person safe. Usually I would not know about any potential dangers until we have established a relationship and the client trusts me with this information. Before rushing off to break the contract of confidentiality we would need to explore their thoughts and feelings about the situation.

After voicing their thoughts about harm to self and/or others, and exploring the issues they are often willing to agree with themselves, with you acting as a witness, that they will not harm themselves or anyone else, accidentally or on purpose. When asking someone to do this they need to agree this whilst having eye contact with us and saying the words, not just agreeing with us in an over-adaptive way. This agreement could be a short term agreement perhaps until they see us next time (giving a specific date is unhelpful as you, or they, may be ill and not be able to attend). The eventual aim is for the client to agree to permanently take responsibility and keep themselves and others safe.

In this situation the coach, manager, or colleague is being potent and protective to the client/colleague and to anyone else who might be in danger, or impacted by the client’s actions. This also offers our client an option that is about taking responsibility rather than moving away from responsibility. Even a time-limited agreement offers the client social control and instead of using their energy on the damaging ideation they can instead use it for health and to consider other options.

It may also be appropriate and important for the client to make an appointment to see a psychotherapist within an agreed time frame. Coaches and managers do not have a contract for psychotherapy and, even though I am also a psychotherapist I will refer on when I believe the client would benefit from this type of intervention as I do not have a contract for therapy when I am coaching. This does not mean that coaching is not therapeutic but that contract is different.

Perhaps some of you are saying that the situation where people want to harm themselves or others would never happen in the workplace. However, it does happen. People can go “crazy” at work as well as at home; they can threaten or be violent at work as well as at home and occasionally are. If we come across distressed people, or if we are distressed and want a way out that is not about taking responsibility, then we need to do something about it. Suffering may seem inevitable for some rather than optional but, generally, it is optional and once we develop other resources we don’t need to resort to violence or self-harm.

Here’s to happy, potent, responsible days for us all!

If you would like any more information about coaching or supervision of coaches then get in touch with us at: http://www.mountain-associates.co.uk

Coaching and the Client Contract

I was discussing coaching with someone the other day who had been informed that they could undertake psychotherapy within the coaching session. The rationale for this was based on what the content of the session was. However, it is not the content that makes the difference but the contract and the aim of the work being undertaken. It is not appropriate to undertake psychotherapy with a client when the contract has been for coaching as the aim of coaching is different.

With coaching the aim is to promote the client’s professional development and integrate performance with development. On the other hand the aim of psychotherapy is primarily the development of the individual, regardless of their professional life. Of course, when we develop personally we are also likely to develop professionally, however the aim of these two different fields, coaching and psychotherapy, are different.

I am both a psychotherapist and a coach and believe it is important not to blur the boundary between the two. If someone requires long term psychotherapy I will refer them on to a psychotherapist and remain as their coach.

We all have personal issues that may hamper our professional development, and professional issues that hamper our personal life, or just a lack of professional experience, knowledge or skill. These areas are appropriate to work with as long as the personal issues are not deep seated and cannot be resolved through a here-and-now co-creative intervention. However, where the issue is personal and only related to the client’s personal life, we should not work here, nor should we work with client issues that clearly require longer term psychotherapy, even if we are qualified to do so, as I am. This is because the contract for coaching, with its allied aims, are different to those of therapy. To my mind, at worst, it is a dangerous boundary to cross and, at best, an arrogant altering of the contractual process which could parallel the blurring of a boundary in some other area of the client’s life.

So, even if you have the skills, knowledge and awareness to undertake psychotherapy, doing so in the wrong context highlights a lack of knowledge, awareness and skill in the coaching field.

Let’s celebrate difference and ensure we maintain boundaries between different fields of development.


For further information on coaching and supervision of coaches give us a call on: 44 (0)1455 824475