The Coaching Contract

When receiving a coaching commission it is important to obtain a clear contract, not only with the person who is to be coached but with all those involved in the commission.  This could include their manager, finance director, etc.  The reason for this is that the contract needs to be agreed with all stakeholders so that there are no difficulties later on. 

This contracting session needs to cover the following areas: 

Professional:

Ø      What are the outcomes required from the work?

§         By the commissioning agent/other stakeholds

§         By the coaching client

Ø      Are these measureable, managable and motivational?*

Ø      Your competency and areas of responsibility

Ø      Confidentiality

Ø      The coaching client’s areas of responsibility 

Psychological:

Ø      What might be any unspoken agenda?

Ø      What might you be being asked for that you might not be able/willing to deliver?

Ø      What might the coaching client be expected to achieve that is not within their role, remit or the coaching remit  

Administrative:

Ø      To whom should invoices to sent?

Ø      Frequency

Ø      Where the coaching will take place

Ø      Frequency

Ø      Cancellation/postponement/late arrival for session details 

*Measureable, manageable and motivational means that there needs to be some detail here to ensure evaluation of the coaching is possible.  For example, it may be that everyone agrees that the person being coached needs to be “more confident” when managing and leading others.  Questions here need to include:

§         How will you know and how will others know that you are “more” confident i.e. how will you measure more?  What will you being doing differently?

§         From the stakeholder’s perspective, what different behaviour would they like to see etc. 

Problems and difficulties later on down the line often occur because there has been a lack of clarity early on in the contracting process.  Take a look at the chapter on contracting in our book Working Together, Organizational Transactional Analysis and Business Performance, published by Gower in 2011.
On reflection are the contracts you make sufficiently detailed?  What will you do to improve your contracting process?

Official partners for The World Business Business and Executive Coach Summit.

Freedom & Responsibility

As we start a new year, here at Mountain Associates, we have been reflecting on the impact of social media on our wider society. The positive ethos of social media is the concept of giving and receiving. Through these instant internet systems we are now able to give and receive recommendations from others that (hopefully) assist our business profiles. Basically, if you give out positive recognition (strokes in TA), to others you are more likely to get something good back. This, in a nutshell, is also what life in general is about. When we are prepared to recommend others and not hold on tight to our links and connections, this positive energy is more likely to come back to us.

In short this is also about freedom and responsibility. We are free to keep our own links to ourselves or we have the freedom to share these. We also need to take responsibility for giving and what we give, without expecting to receive. In order to consider freedom and responsibility we need to be able to take the role of the “other” and establish empathy and appreciation of the other’s perspective.

It is not only individuals who need to consider the issues of freedom and responsibility but so too do organizations. These will be translated differently within each organization dependent upon the organizational script (a life plan made outside of awareness that involves discounting).

Whilst organizations do not have ego states they do have elements that correspond to them and these are communicated through the primal leader/s or euhemerus. When working in organizations, whether in a coaching or consulting capacity, or as an employee at any level, we need to reflect on how issues of freedom and responsibility are exercised – or have they been exorcised?!

When considering change we need to take a look at both the interpersonal and social systems of the organization.

"…… if all the individuals within the institution were suddenly to change their life scripts, the institution would continue to function as usual until its operational procedures were also changed. Similarly, the institution’s procedures could be changed with little effect on the individuals’ life scripts. Thus effective change must involve both the individuals changing their life scripts and the institution or social system changing its operational procedures on the social and psychological level”. (Joines in Barnes, 1977, pp 270-271)

To bring us back to the theme of freedom and responsibility and social media it appears to us that we have an opportunity here to develop a new culture and put a new show on the road. This “new show” has the potential to radically change how we are with each other across cultures. We are co-creating or co-constructing a way of being that is about giving and sharing and in ways that we have never seen before. Let’s harness this freedom and ensure we take our responsibility in how we do this – whether this is at the individual or organizational level.

We would love to hear from you about how you believe social media is influencing our society for the better. Also, what do you think about the idea of freedom and responsibility in organisations?

References:
Joines V.S. (1977), An integrated systems perspective. In G. Barnes (Ed), Transactional Analysis after Eric Berne: Teachings and practices of three TA schools (pp257-272,) New York: Harper College Press
(N.B. This publication uses some outdated models of TA so if you do follow-up the reference please bear this in mind).


If you would like further information about The Official Introduction to Transactional Analysis; our Foundation Course in TA; Developmental/Organizational Transactional Analysis then visit our website for details of courses and articles: www.mountain-associates.co.uk.

Protection and Potency

Whether we work as a coach, consultant or as a team member there are sometimes challenges within the relationships we have. How do we respond when it appears that someone has “lost it”, or is so aggressive that it appears that they could move to violence? These are times when additional support is important because keeping this fear to ourselves is very demanding and unsafe.

The occasions when such situations occur are rare, but when they do happen it is helpful to know what to do.

Firstly, I work contractually and when, appropriate, make a confidentiality contract when I also let the person, or people, know when I will break that confidentiality. I would do this if the client does not agree to keep themselves or another person safe. Usually I would not know about any potential dangers until we have established a relationship and the client trusts me with this information. Before rushing off to break the contract of confidentiality we would need to explore their thoughts and feelings about the situation.

After voicing their thoughts about harm to self and/or others, and exploring the issues they are often willing to agree with themselves, with you acting as a witness, that they will not harm themselves or anyone else, accidentally or on purpose. When asking someone to do this they need to agree this whilst having eye contact with us and saying the words, not just agreeing with us in an over-adaptive way. This agreement could be a short term agreement perhaps until they see us next time (giving a specific date is unhelpful as you, or they, may be ill and not be able to attend). The eventual aim is for the client to agree to permanently take responsibility and keep themselves and others safe.

In this situation the coach, manager, or colleague is being potent and protective to the client/colleague and to anyone else who might be in danger, or impacted by the client’s actions. This also offers our client an option that is about taking responsibility rather than moving away from responsibility. Even a time-limited agreement offers the client social control and instead of using their energy on the damaging ideation they can instead use it for health and to consider other options.

It may also be appropriate and important for the client to make an appointment to see a psychotherapist within an agreed time frame. Coaches and managers do not have a contract for psychotherapy and, even though I am also a psychotherapist I will refer on when I believe the client would benefit from this type of intervention as I do not have a contract for therapy when I am coaching. This does not mean that coaching is not therapeutic but that contract is different.

Perhaps some of you are saying that the situation where people want to harm themselves or others would never happen in the workplace. However, it does happen. People can go “crazy” at work as well as at home; they can threaten or be violent at work as well as at home and occasionally are. If we come across distressed people, or if we are distressed and want a way out that is not about taking responsibility, then we need to do something about it. Suffering may seem inevitable for some rather than optional but, generally, it is optional and once we develop other resources we don’t need to resort to violence or self-harm.

Here’s to happy, potent, responsible days for us all!

If you would like any more information about coaching or supervision of coaches then get in touch with us at: http://www.mountain-associates.co.uk

Fire Me, I Made A Mistake!

When was the last time you made a mistake? Did you beat up on yourself? Did you grovel to the person or people who might have been affected by your actions or did you take the action to put it right and move on? I guess these last points may not be mutually exclusive for some. However, we may need to apologise but this does not mean grovelling. It means taking responsibility for our actions and seeking to remedy what we have done – or not done.

You have probably all heard the Henry Ford story about the employee who made a mistake that cost the company $100,000. He went to Ford and told him what he had done and that Ford should fire him. Wisely Ford responded by saying that he would not fire him as he had $100,000 invested in him now and he would not make the same mistake again. However, many of us seem to forget that when we make a mistake. It is often our own internal voice that punishes us and all too often this voice is harsher than any one else’s.

There is an American expression “Don’t sweat the small stuff”, well, actually we should also not “sweat the large stuff” either. Problem solve, apologise, and check out what we can do to put it right and then learn from the mistake so that it doesn’t happen again. This might mean setting up new systems, or getting extra help, but it does not mean berating ourselves over and over again – how will that help?

So, get resilient. Think before acting, check that systems are in place to ensure the same thing does not happen again. Only take on the amount of work you can take on, rather than letting people down because you took on too much. Take responsibility when, and if, things go wrong. Learn the skills needed to improve performance, and, above all, keep everyone, including ourselves, OK.

Know Where You are Going

When we are going on holiday we have the route mapped out. We follow the sign-posts and hopefully get there without too much difficulty. On the odd occasion we might take a wrong turning but either our map-reading skills, our enquiries or our sat-nav. will tell us how to get back on the right route.

Somehow though we can be somewhat vague when thinking about life and where we want to get to. We even ask children what they want to do when they grow up, we don’t ask them what they want to create in their lives.

When we go on holiday we have some decisions to make and so it is with our lives. What do we want to create in our life? How will we get there? Will anyone go with us or will we do it on our own? If we get lost what will we do – feel annoyed, give up, become anxious or find the right way for us? All of these things are about choosing options and getting the balance between freedom and responsibility. Too much choice without a structure can be frightening for some, whilst too much responsibility can be overwhelming. Obtaining the right balance for us, as an individual, will help us to create what we want in life.

First we must choose our goal. Goals or visions are about what we want to create in our lives and how we want to be, including our values and ideals etc. When we have developed our vision we can decide what primary decisions we need to make to move toward that vision. When these areas are congruent we will feel in harmony with ourselves and with our life.

What do you want to create in your life?