How many times at a meeting do you leave wondering if everyone is really going to do what they say they will do?
Here is a brief outline of how to check this out with people.
1. Existence - First clearly outline the issue that has brought about the discussion. Do all parties agree that it needs discussing? If not then the discussion has to be at this level to ensure that everyone is on board with even having the discussion. Without this individuals may sabotage the process.
2. Seriousness - Once everyone agrees that the topic needs discussing then you can move on to the seriousness of the issue i.e. the importance or place it takes at the moment. At this stage, if everyone agrees that there is an issue to discuss and it is sufficiently important then you can move on, if not you will need to return to (1) to ensure that everyone agrees that an issue exists
3. Change Possibilities – Having discussed the issue you can now move on to agreeing what options there are for change. At this stage you will need to check that everyone agrees that change is possible and that there are options. Whilst people rarely say “There are no options” they may well say things like “We’ve tried this before” or “They would never allow that” or other “Yes but….. ” type answers. If this happens you will need to return to the seriousness level and ask questions to establish whether they still agree there is an issue and that it is sufficiently important to take some action about.
4. Personal Ability – This is the stage where you have to decide who will do what and by when. If someone says they will do it, but without conviction, you will need to check their level of commitment or confidence in undertaking the task. Reluctance can lead to sabotage of the process, so ensuring people really do agree to take the action and are motivated is important. If individuals are not willing or confident to take action then the previous levels will need to be returned to.
The point of this checklist is to avoid the tedious outcome where you think you have all agreed something only to find that action is not taken because everyone thought someone else was doing it, they had other priorities, they did not believe change was possible or that they had the ability to do it. Taking time at the meeting is better than waiting six months to find out that nothing has happened.
All of these levels need to considered and discussed in a non-threatening way so people to share their views.
To find out how to improve your communication sign up for our two-day Official Introduction to Transactional Analysis course, to be held on 11/12 September, 2007.
Contact Mountain Associates - www.mountain-associates.co.uk/ta101.html
Wednesday 6 June 2007
Perception and Communication
How we perceive the world affects how we are with others, the decisions we make and how we create what happens to us.
For example, we were recently working in Russia and were taken out to a rather touristy show, some of which was dreadful, but most, interesting. There were Russian folk songs, Cossack dancing and Russian folk music, all of which I thoroughly enjoyed. On talking about the show to our host, Olga, she discussed how much this show bought up memories of her childhood. Her whole village would make the opportunity to sing and dance on the streets. Tables would be brought out and food provided by everyone for everyone. Today this does not happen and Olga was seeing the show through her own eyes and the memories it brought back to her. We, on the other hand were experiencing the performances as examples of Russian folk history and music and because we did not have any personal experiences to go back to purely saw the show in the here and now.
So, what has this to do with work? At work we are all aiming to communicate and very often it goes awry. Often this is because we all have different perceptions of the same issue and even the same experience – just like Olga and I and how we were experiencing the show. Frankie Armstrong, a singer, songwriter, author and performer said that we don’t see “with our eyes we see through our eyes”. We all bring our history, experiences, culture and expectations to the table when we communicate and problem solve. Perhaps if we accepted this fact we might we might be more tolerant and interested in how come the other person thinks or says something rather than trying to beat them over the head with what we believe or think.
Diversity enables us to co-create imaginative responses as long as we are willing to put down our prejudices and expectations and see who is before us.
How we perceive the world affects how we are with others, the decisions we make and how we create what happens to us.
For example, we were recently working in Russia and were taken out to a rather touristy show, some of which was dreadful, but most, interesting. There were Russian folk songs, Cossack dancing and Russian folk music, all of which I thoroughly enjoyed. On talking about the show to our host, Olga, she discussed how much this show bought up memories of her childhood. Her whole village would make the opportunity to sing and dance on the streets. Tables would be brought out and food provided by everyone for everyone. Today this does not happen and Olga was seeing the show through her own eyes and the memories it brought back to her. We, on the other hand were experiencing the performances as examples of Russian folk history and music and because we did not have any personal experiences to go back to purely saw the show in the here and now.
So, what has this to do with work? At work we are all aiming to communicate and very often it goes awry. Often this is because we all have different perceptions of the same issue and even the same experience – just like Olga and I and how we were experiencing the show. Frankie Armstrong, a singer, songwriter, author and performer said that we don’t see “with our eyes we see through our eyes”. We all bring our history, experiences, culture and expectations to the table when we communicate and problem solve. Perhaps if we accepted this fact we might we might be more tolerant and interested in how come the other person thinks or says something rather than trying to beat them over the head with what we believe or think.
Diversity enables us to co-create imaginative responses as long as we are willing to put down our prejudices and expectations and see who is before us.
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