Stress Management

One of the things that happens when we are stressed is that we can often start to have obsessive thinking. Our attention becomes focussed on the “What if….” in terms of what might happen and these are usually worse case scenarios. These thoughts in themselves then raise our anxiety and make the situation even more difficult.

Let’s imagine there has been a complaint by a colleague about something you are supposed to have done. In your own eyes you are innocent of this accusation but your employer has decided to take disciplinary measures and the situation is being investigated. At this point you start to believe that there must be something wrong with you, you begin to beat up on yourself and any remaining humour you have is now against yourself e.g. “You’d better write that down as there’s nothing between the ears! Ha, ha, ha!” When laying in bed at night, or during any quiet moment, your thoughts start to go down the negative route of “What if I lose my job? If that happens I will lose the house. I won’t be able to get another job.……………..” etc. etc.

When we start to think like this we are focussed in the future not in the now. By staying in the present we will be less stressed. I recognise that staying present is not necessarily an easy process, but we can train our minds to do this. Every time we start to go down the negative thought route we need to bring ourselves back. It may be that we have been thinking negatively for some time before we even realise what we are doing. However, as soon as we do notice we still need to bring ourselves back to the now. What is real now? Who is here to support us now? Who will I ask for support from now? What can I do now that will help to relax me?

Staying in the present is something that can be eased through meditation. Just sitting in a chair and focussing our minds on the sensation of our bottoms on a chair and to keep returning to this each time we find ourselves wandering off somewhere else, will help train ourselves to stay in the present.

It is important to train, or actually re-train our minds because when we are stressed it seems as if our minds control us, rather than the other way round. We can start to believe that we cannot do anything about these negative thought processes, and this is reflective of not feeling in control of the situation. However, even if others have control over the disciplinary process, for example, we have control over our mind and what we do with it. Therefore it is better to use our energy by being positive because, even if the worst happens, we are more likely to have the energy to deal with it, rather than being already on our beam ends. Further, the worst may not happen anyway and we have wasted our time in worrying.

Okay, in this example, I have talked about a situation where you believe you are innocent. However, even if you have done something wrong there are still ways to deal with the stress of this. One certain way is to own up to the wrong doing so at least you can live with yourself and not spend your energy trying to cover up something.

On an individual level staying present is, of course, only one way to deal with stress. In addition, measures also need to be taken by the organisation itself to ensure the workforce are supported.

For more information on stress management contact Mountain Associates and see how we can support your workforce: ta@mountain-associates.co.uk