Blog move

Hi Everyone,

I guess by now you may have realised that we have moved the blog so that it is integrated within our own website:  http://blog.mountain-associates.co.uk/

Do come back to us there and say "Hi", leave your comments and follow us.  We look forward to dialoguing with you.

You can also find us at Mountain Associates on Facebook and on Twitter @MountainAssoc as well as find Anita on LinkedIn.  Please click Like on our Facebook page.

Thank you to those of you who are following us and who have bought our book Working Together; Organizational Transactional Analysis and Business Performance, published last year by Gower and receiving rave reviews on Amazon. 

Our new bi-monthly one-day training in Developmental/Organisational TA is now published on our site.  Each training day is followed by an optional supervision day. If you're passionate about your cpd, about improving your understanding of self, others and organisations then this could be for you.  You are now able to obtain a certificate, diploma and Masters in Developmental TA.  Whether you wish to take qualifications or not you are welcome to attend our training.  The prerequisite for which is ideally a TA101 or that you have read our book.  As we only work with small groups places are limited. Take a look and register now:  www.mountain-associates.co.uk

We also facilitate Advanced Communication Skills, Level 1 (incorporating the Official Introduction to TA, the TA101), so keep an eye on the website for information about our upcoming courses.

Mountain Associates have worked with a range of organisations from the RAF and MoD to Local Authorities and private companies including Swisslog; Sandler Sales Training etc. Anita Mountain available as a coach, keynote speaker and consultant.  Call us now on +44 (0)1455 824475 or email us at: ta@mountain-associates.co.uk

Transforming Human Capital & Human Resources to Human Kind

I just read something that referred to the workforce as “Human Capital”.  When we do this we reinforce previous outdated beliefs about the lazy uneducated workforce that require managing and motivating.  The terminology “capital” and “resources” imply that people are there for productivity and are thus objectified and dehumanized.   

In order to really make change and increase productivity we need to have compassion and be Mindful about ourselves, others, our interactions and the situation.  Making money and being successful can, contrary to come opinions, be possible without exploiting others. 

What are your beliefs about money?  What did your parents/carers express about money when you were a child?  If they were discussing money, what would they be saying?  What feelings would you be picking up about their situation at that time?  What are the phrases you heard from them about money?  

For many of us these phrases may well be negative or self-negating.  We pick up messages such as “People like us won’t be able to be rich”, “There’s an ‘us’ and ‘them’ and ‘they’ have and ‘we’ don’t/won’t have”, “Life is hard, and we have to fight it” etc.  These messages go into our sub-conscious, remain there and we unknowingly live by them.   

Imagine this picture: You are highly successful and go to see your parents.  They notice your new car and ask you about it.  What do their facial expressions say?  What do you pick up from them about success and wealth?  For example we might keep ourselves from being successful in order to belong in a family that might not accept us if we were successful. 

Alternatively, some people are financially independent and have been acculturated into success and do see others as “Human Capital” or “Human Resources” and treat other people accordingly.  These people can then reinforce any negative frames of reference we have about wealth and success.  They appear arrogant, controlling and selfish.  However, not everyone who has money and who is successful is this way.  We tend to notice those people who reinforce our negative beliefs and this can keep us stuck. 

·    Who could you look to that would give you positive permissions to be wealthy and successful? 

·    If you believed you could be successful how would you behave?

·    How would this effect your creativity and ideas about what was possible and what was not?

·    How would this affect your levels of confidence and self-worth?

·    How would this affect your view of life in general? 

So, explore your beliefs and check how they affect you today.  Are you actually really being Mindful, i.e. in the present moment, or are you operating from out-dated past messages? In short, be “Human Kind”, be compassionate to self and others - and productivity is still likely to increase! 

Check out our website for our open workshops on Transactional Analysis.  Contact us now about courses, coaching and supervision.  Buy our latest book, “Working Together, Organizational Transactional Analysis and Business Performance”.  Book Anita Mountain as a speaker for your next event.

Working with Narcissism

Narcissism is an over-inflated view of oneself and the belief that you are more special than anyone else.  There may also be a group of other people with whom they identify that help to boost the ego.

Take a look at some of the discussion sites, instead of listening to each other people are often out to prove themselves through statements such as “I’m saying something that is very radical”, or “When I’m talking with high powered people”. There is a sense that rather than dialogue the person with narcissistic qualities is taking part in order to prove they have something special to offer the masses.

Narcissistic people get followers.  As long as those followers do just that i.e. “follow”, they will be accepted.  However, as soon as the symbiosis is broken then they are likely to be “ex-communicated” and the “leader” will play such games as “Now I’ve got you”. 

Narcissism is on the increase and adverts play into the narcissistic culture, appealing to those who want to look younger, be free etc. all of which are on offer through a particular product such as botox. 

Very often narcissism is confused with charisma and self-promotion.  There is a difference between being confident and knowing what your “field of genius is” and believing that you are better than others. When talking about OKness one Transactional Analyst theorist (White T) said that those who are narcissistic come from the position of I’m OK and You’re irrelevant!  Of course, they can also come from I’m OK and You’re not OK.  What we must remember is that there is a fragility of the self, even though it doesn’t seem like it.

These days there is greater competition alongside which is the breakdown of the social contract e.g. for organizational pensions, health plans etc. Because of the scarcity of jobs the potential, and current, workforce is expected to be self-promoting.  The issue is how to remain humble and yet be confident about your “field of genius”.  

We need to remember that those who show narcissistic behaviour do so because of early “wounding”.  This can happen through being over-indulged of even by being ignored.  The workplace is not there to “cure” individuals.  However, it is important for people to recognise the behaviours of narcissism and ensure that symbiosis does not occur as this will fuel the narcissistic fire and can be detrimental to the organizational culture and the sense of safety. 

• Do you think narcissism is on the increase?
• Do you think someone with a narcissistic personality is good for an organisation?

We will be facilitating a workshop on personality types and in particular on narcissism on 14/15/16 March, 2013.  Register now for our Developmental/Organizational Transactional Analysis programme.  Go to: www.mountain-associates.co.uk/orgta_topics1213.html

Official Partner to the World Business and Executive Coach Summit – sign up now

Buy our book: Working Together, Organizational Transactional Analysis and Business Performance, published by Gower.

The Coaching Contract

When receiving a coaching commission it is important to obtain a clear contract, not only with the person who is to be coached but with all those involved in the commission.  This could include their manager, finance director, etc.  The reason for this is that the contract needs to be agreed with all stakeholders so that there are no difficulties later on. 

This contracting session needs to cover the following areas: 

Professional:

Ø      What are the outcomes required from the work?

§         By the commissioning agent/other stakeholds

§         By the coaching client

Ø      Are these measureable, managable and motivational?*

Ø      Your competency and areas of responsibility

Ø      Confidentiality

Ø      The coaching client’s areas of responsibility 

Psychological:

Ø      What might be any unspoken agenda?

Ø      What might you be being asked for that you might not be able/willing to deliver?

Ø      What might the coaching client be expected to achieve that is not within their role, remit or the coaching remit  

Administrative:

Ø      To whom should invoices to sent?

Ø      Frequency

Ø      Where the coaching will take place

Ø      Frequency

Ø      Cancellation/postponement/late arrival for session details 

*Measureable, manageable and motivational means that there needs to be some detail here to ensure evaluation of the coaching is possible.  For example, it may be that everyone agrees that the person being coached needs to be “more confident” when managing and leading others.  Questions here need to include:

§         How will you know and how will others know that you are “more” confident i.e. how will you measure more?  What will you being doing differently?

§         From the stakeholder’s perspective, what different behaviour would they like to see etc. 

Problems and difficulties later on down the line often occur because there has been a lack of clarity early on in the contracting process.  Take a look at the chapter on contracting in our book Working Together, Organizational Transactional Analysis and Business Performance, published by Gower in 2011.
On reflection are the contracts you make sufficiently detailed?  What will you do to improve your contracting process?

Official partners for The World Business Business and Executive Coach Summit.

Getting In Your Own Way

Our beliefs can keep us from achieving what we want to achieve.  How many times do you say to yourself: 

Ø      I won’t be able to do that

Ø      People like me don’t make it

Ø      I didn’t get a degree so I’m not intelligent enough to….. 

Our thoughts prevent us from getting where we want to be.  These self-limiting beliefs are just that – beliefs.  However, we act as if they are facts and live our lives by them.   

Other beliefs include things like: 

Ø      If I enjoy myself today something awful will happen

Ø      I can’t do that until I’ve done ……. (e.g. all the work)

Ø      I tried that before and it didn’t work then and so I won’t bother again

Ø      I did succeed in doing………… but it wasn’t worth it

Ø      I did get there but now I see I that I need to be moving on to the next goal (the outcome of which is dissatisfaction) 

These beliefs are all part of our script.  The “script” in Transactional Analysis occurs when we make decisions when young, based on limited life experience, and live our lives accordingly.   

So, if you want to progress and experience being stuck, explore your beliefs about success.  Are you allowed to be successful?  What is success to you?  According to other people are you already successful but you don’t feel it?  What do you believe would happen if you became successful?  Are you “allowed” to be happy and successful?  What are you discounting that reinforces your belief that you’re not, or can’t be, successful?  What do you need to account that would help you shift your self-limiting beliefs?  (You may need to ask people who know you about this one!). 

Get in touch and share how changing your beliefs about self, others and life, has helped you move forward and own your success.

Buy our book today direct from our website, Amazon or Gower:  Working Together, Organizational Transactional Analysis and Business Performance.  There’s a free download chapter on our website:  www.mountain-associates.co.uk  Come to our guest workshop on Managing & Using Emotions in Organisations on 19 April, 2012, with Olivier Montadat from Paris and our next Developmental/Organisational TA module in May on The Politics of Attachment.  See our website for further information.

Making the Shift

How often do you feel that the other person you are relating has the upper hand in the dialogue?  Perhaps your role is new to that organisation, or your ideas don’t seem to fit in with that culture.  At such times the temptation is to either withdraw or fight.  Neither option is really effective.  Instead here’s an idea for you. 

I have just been facilitating a seminar for directors and shared with them this idea which was found to be valuable.   

You are sharing your opinion about a project with someone who discounts you and your views.  They seem to misunderstand you, your role and/or your perspective.  Rather than feeling angry or demoralised I invite you to consider this as an educational issue and keep yourself and them okay.  Then, having done a quick bit of positive internal self-talk, go for the idea of a mini-contracting process with them.   Let’s say the person you are talking with is called Peter and you are Chris.  Here’s what it might look like:

Peter: (Discounting your and your professional and organisational role) We’ve got this issue sorted really.  What you are offering doesn’t really fit with our frame of reference but I’m sure we can find a way of appeasing X/Y on this one.

Chris:  Mmm, that’s good information for me (keeping self & Peter OK).  As I’m new to this organisation/role would it be worth you taking an hour of your time to find out what I do and the impact on (sales/culture/community/customers etc.)? (A question that invites Peter to account rather than discount).  We could also discuss the relationship between our roles.  Would that be sufficiently important for you to put time aside? (Assessing the reality of the importance to Peter).

Peter:  Well, I guess it would.

Chris:  So, how are you fixed for …….. at ……? Shall I come here? 

Peter:  Yes, that’s fine.

Chris:  What might get in the way of that meeting?

Peter:  Well, X/Y could.

Chris:  Okay then, let’s reschedule at a time when you’ll be clear of any other pressures.         When would that be? (This last transaction helps to avoid sabotage).

This mini-contracting process is helpful because you are asking questions that need a “Yes” or “No” response.  In reality it is hard for someone to say “no” they’re not interested and you are also checking that they are not going to set up a meeting then cancel it.  It’s helpful if you can find something that they need to be cognisant of which might be sales, impact, budgets etc. so that they can see the benefits of meeting with you.  On the other hand, if they were to say “No” then at least you know where you are and you are then free to consider a different strategy. 

When you remain in the Mindful Process you will have more thinking available.  You are also more likely to hook the other person’s Mindful Process i.e. thinking, awareness, connection (for further details of the OK Modes Model which has Mindful at its heart see our book Working Together, Organizational Transactional Analysis and Business Performance.  Information on our website:  www.mountain-associates.co.uk).

Ø      When did this type of contracting process pay off for you? 

Ø      When, by keeping yourself and the other person OK, did you engage and enable effective communication?

We are available for in-house training and coaching.  In the meantime find out more about our approach and how we can be of assistance to you by purchasing "Working Together".  See Amazon.co.uk for reviews and download a free chapter from our website:  www.mountain-associates.co.uk.  We also facilitate open-workshops and Anita Mountain is available to speak at your event.

Dare To Be Different

If you have an idea that you are excited and passionate about then listen to your passion.  People follow people who are passionate and if you want to be a leader then you need to take people with you – and passion can do that.  Passion does mean being prepared to be different though.  How many people do you know that are passionate about the work that they do, or the processes they are involved in?  Few I bet.   

When we meet people who are passionate about life, what they do, other people, we tend to feel drawn toward them.  Therefore if you have an idea, are a leader or manager and want to move forward, then take people with you with your passion – albeit passion with positive processes and strategic thinking.   

It is often too easy to be put off by our own negative thinking, for example:  “This will never happen to someone like me”, or “If that worked then something awful will follow” or “Who am I to think I can……..”  It will be all too easy to find those who act as the discouraging committee, instead, find people who will be the encouraging committee and go for it.   

If you are someone who believes they have too much to lose by going out on a limb then think about how you can minimise those risks and what strategies you can use.  Simple things are often the best.  Anything is possible if we think positively and move forward.  Afterall it took 178 attempts before Eddison developed the light bulb, and he is known for saying that he found 178 ways for the light not to work!  With a positive frame of mind and his passion he continued and was successful.  The same goes today for those who are determined to do things differently, whether at work or in their personal lives.  In the work place others may be doing things they way they have always been done, leading the organization to at best stagnate and at worst to decline.  Do things differently, find people with whom you can check out your ideas and go for it.

Let us know what you have done that was different and how this led to success. Inspire others and comment below.

For coaching, consultancy and training contact Mountain Associates and see how we can support you and your workforce.  Our guest workshop on 19 April is Managing Emotions in the Workplace with Olivier Montadat, go to our website for further details:  www.mountain-associates.co.uk/orgta_topics Download a free chapter and buy our book Working Together: www.mountain-associates.co.uk