Expectations

We have just come back from working in Armenia where we were teaching Transactional Analysis and its application. During one of the discussions the issue of expectations came up and there was a view that if we expect too much then we will be disappointed and therefore we need to keep our expectations low. At this point the room seemed split between those who agreed and those who did not agree.

Of course, some of this may be cultural and, as most of the participants were women this too might be understandable. However, if we keep our expectations low we will never have the opportunity to feel fulfilled and will be working within an over-adaptive frame of reference. This in itself can then lead to resentment. Why go for second best? Whether we believe we will achieve a goal, or whether we don’t, going for it means that we’ll have a good journey, learn a great deal, and develop and grow. Further, with the attitude that something is possible we will be living a happy life in a positive frame of mind. Then, whether we achieve our goal, or whether we don’t, we’ve had a good time and enjoyed the journey, with positive spin-offs for those around us too.

Just think, if everyone lowered their expectations we would have no electricity, aeroplanes, mobiles, computers etc. etc. etc. So, if we start to think “There’s no point, things like that (whatever that is) don’t happen for people like me” we’ll be right – because whatever we focus our attention on grows greater in our life – and that doesn’t mean only the positive things!

I realise that in today’s current financial crisis things are tough to say the least. Some of you may be losing your jobs, houses, or having to work harder because others around you have lost their jobs, however, how does being angry, withdrawn, resentful help? Instead we need to be creative, think, feel and take action toward our goals. At these times we need our friends for support and need to reach out and ask. This is a time for community and creativity. This increases our positive energy which is better for our health and well being.

Don’t go for second best because that says you are only worth second best, go for first best – you’re worth it. “Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss you’ll get the stars”.

Have a great journey.


Mountain Associates offer in-house training and consultancy. Our Organizational Training Institute offers open workshops on Transactional Analysis, our next Official Introduction to TA is on 3-5 November, with another one in January, 2011, and our Organizational TA programme is going strong. We also have a coaching arm called Coaching 4C so do get in touch if you would like to talk about group or individual coaching.